Or so I thought.
(here is where we get really personal)
Beau and I had been talking for a while about getting married and having a kid. I was beyond ready to settle down with him. As you all know, this past April my dream came true and Beau was asking me to marry him. But as you also know, since January I have had an ongoing, undiagnosed back problem which causes me pain - even with medication - and both of my hips pop when I walk.
I have had many procedures to rid me of the pain but so far none of them have fully helped. What happens if they never find the cause of the pain and I have to live with it forever? What if because of this pain, I cannot have a child? What if not being able to have a child makes Beau leave?
A lot of 'what ifs' but all possible realities which scare me.
Yes, we could do surrogacy which I probably would do if it came to that but then I would never know what it feels like to be pregnant. If in the future, I can have kids, I will probably complain the entire pregnancy but it is still an amazing part of life which I want to experience.
Let's hope that this dream of mine can someday be real <3