21 May 2012

Nothing good can come from this...

Ok ladies, I need your help...

Last night around 10:15, one of Beau's female friends called to talk because she was feeling anxious and stuff. Alright, whatever.

Well after 45 minutes of talking about random stuff, the call ends like this:

Girl: "I'll let you go. I love you."
Beau: "Have a good night. Love you too."

While I was lying next to him!!!

I asked him why he said it and his response? "Well she's a good friend."

First off, I don't care how good of a friend she is, I don't go around telling my guy friends I love them.

I'm not - and don't want to be - the jealous type, but hearing him say this was hurtful towards me and made me question his feeling for me. I couldn't even sleep last night I was so pissed off and heartbroken. I even thought about calling off the wedding around 2am.

What made this girl think it was ok to tell an engaged man that she loved him?! Plus she knew I was lying right next to him in bed.

Am I being rational for being upset about this? What would you do in my shoes?


Kristina said...

I can def feel your pain. I am not afraid to admit I am a jealous person. That would have made me livid. I would have felt a bit disrespected and disappointed. I've had a similar experience and it sucks but clearly your fiancé loves you. If he had something to hide he would have never laid by you when on the phone with her. He would have hid the conversation or left the bed. I think It was innocent.

Jess - PrettyPhysicist said...

oh, you are perfectly sane girl! My husband's EX BOSS used to email him all the time and tell him that "if he needed someone to talk to", that she'd "always be there for him because she cares about him". I just about flipped shit and told him that he can't have contact with someone that disrespects our marriage like that. He understood.

Nikki said...

Oh my gosh! First of all girl I am so sorry! Second I do not think that you are totally rational for feeling the way you do over this. If I were in your shoes I would def talk to Beau and tell him that you are hurt and that you did not appreciate the fact that he told another woman that he loved her. I would also tell him that you had thoughts of calling off the wedding because of this and that it is a serious no go for your relationship. I personally do not think that a man should tell ANY other woman other than his family members that he loves them not matter how good of a friend they are. It is inappropriate!

Again that is what I would do. No matter what you decide I am here for ya if ya need to talk!

Jenny said...

OMGEEE! That would make me so upset! And I wouldn't sleep either!

However, I don't think you should call off the wedding!

A similar thing happened to me and Adam when we were engaged! After I talked to him, and he saw how much it hurt me, he said he was sorry and promised it would never happen again!

Just talk to him about it! Let him know that it did bother you!

If you need to email me you can! sphjenny@gmail.com

Alana Christine said...

I'm gonna be the devil's advocate here and let you know that I tell several of my guy friends that I love them. ALL THE TIME. It's just the relationship we have (completely platonic). It's like a "I love you like a sibling kinda love."

Evelien said...

I wouldn't appreciate it either... Just tell Beau what you feel and why you feel this way :) He's YOUR man and he will understand it ;)

And the "friend"? If she says stuff like that I think she really likes him a lot. Maybe men wouldn't understand it, but in my experience girls don't say those things because he's "just a friend"!
When you're in a serious, committed relationship, all your friends from the opposite sex should take a step back. But hey, that's just my opinion :)

All that to say: you're not weird for feeling this way!

Jessica said...

Woah!! There's no way I would let it slide either girl. That's just kinda weird!

Jessica Renee said...

I am SUPER jealous so I feel your pain..Even though I would've yanked the phone away and asked her who the hell she thought she was..But that's just my kind of jealous. ha!

I would just tell him how you feel and ask him to put himself into your shoes. I'm sure he wouldn't appreciate you doing the same with a guy friend, no matter how close y'all are. It's just odd and he needs to know it bothers you. Good luck!

Your Doctor's Wife said...

I'm forty-something. Have been married, divorced and now happily remarried. That is NOT right. It's disrespectful by her and while I'm sure he's lovely, that was not his brightest moment.
From time to time my husband and I both will receive emails from previous bfs or gfs, but we never say "love you". It's always "take care", "best" or something like that.
Boundaries. Set up some boundaries. He needs to be respectful to you and your feelings. If not, it's going to be a long, hard road.
Good luck!

lil desiqua said...

I've had a similar situation- my bf has a best girl friend and she'd say it to him, but only when she was really having issues and he listened to her and helped her out, not like an all the time thing. But I've met her, hung out with her, and have gotten to know her, and know that there's nothing there except friendship.

I have to ask- do you know this girl? Have you met and hung out? Maybe you should, especially if she's "such a good friend."

I think that if there was anything to hide, especially on Beau's side, he wouldn't have said that with you being right there. He probably thought nothing of it- you should talk to him! Let him know how it made you feel and why.

Miranda said...

I can totally understand being jealous...i would totally be! but I also have really close guy friends...I would be torn! sorry that wasn't much help haha

Mia Maree said...

I think it is completely normal to feel that way! I think you need to let him know exactly how that makes you feel. I'm sure it was innocent, but the second he knows it hurts you that much it should stop. I'm sorry you were up all night :(

AlanaMarie said...

I would be upset, but I am a jealous person. When my husband and I first got together we had some issues with an ex of his that I was extremely uncomfortable with. It took a few years but she has finally got the message to just leave us alone. I don't really care about female friends, I just think that exes for a reason.

Ashley Paige said...

I would be just as upset as you- and I think you have every right to be! what woman wants to hear her fiancé, the man she's madly in love with, tell another woman that he loves her? "best friend/like a sibling" love is hardly an excuse of you ask me.. And shame on that girl for saying it. She should know better. I would never dream of telling a close, married/engaged/relationship or not friend, that I loved him! Ick...Iike everyone has said above me.. Talk to Beau- let him know how you feel. I think it's completely justified and it doesn't make you the "jealous" type at all! :)

Crazy Shenanigans-JMO said...

Was she an ex girlfriend of his? Or did they ever casually date? I understand we all have our things that make us upset so I can feel for you on that.