30 May 2012

Blonde moments... We all have them...

As most of you know - or should know based on the name of my blog - I am blonde.

And I'm not just talking about my hair color. I am a blonde who has many, many blonde moments... 90% of the time to be exact.

I'm pretty sure you would stop reading my blog if I posted about every blonde moment (saying to yourself "wow, this girl is f'ed up!") but today I'm going to share a few of my more mellow moments with you.

Blonde moment #38732486589 of 41839758625...

Walking out of Walmart, calling my Dad to tell him something.
As he answers the phone, I realize my car is missing.
This was our conversation...

Dad: "Hi honey, what's up?"
Me: "Daddy, my car is missing."
Dad: "What do you mean 'it's missing'?"
Me: "I parked it right here. It's GONE!"
Dad: "Is there glass on the ground?"
Me: "No but it's not here!"
Dad: "Hit the panic button."
Me: "I have been. Nothing is happening. It's gone, Daddy! My car is gone!!!"
:: I walk around the parking lot hitting the panic button ::
:: car alarm starts to go off ::
Me: "I found it!"
Dad: "Where is it?"
Me: "Oh about 6 aisles away... apparently too far for my panic button to work."

Blonde moment #13546987652 of 41839758625...

You know those pans under the electric coils of the cooking stove? Well the ones in our apartment were nasty... I don't think they were cleaned since the day the stove was installed. I tried once but the grime was cooked on there so I went out and bought new ones.

Sidenote: Milk boils QUICKLY so this probably didn't help...

Nasty, isn't it?

To replace them you have to unplug and remove the coil. And that's what I did. But when I plugged it back in, it just didn't feel like it clicked into place. So what's a blonde to do? I turned the burner on to see if it would heat up. To check? I touched it. Who knew it got that hot that fast.

On to the second coil... yup, you guessed it. I touched that one too! I figured it was just a glitch that the other heated up that quickly. It wasn't though. I did learn my lesson that time.

Blonde moment #9546987652 of 41839758625...

So to drive an ambulance, you need to take a driving course. One day of class room, the other day driving. Myself and two members of my rescue squad went to a local fire department and took the class with them... It was mid-March... still cold out.

I had driven the ambulance before but never through obstacles like they want you to do so I was nervous. Everyone kept telling me I'd do fine though and the fire department's chief even told me that they have brand new collapsible cones so even if I hit them, they'd be completely fine.

Apparently, that isn't true when it's cold out. I parallel parked it fine. Did the serpentine fine. But once I got to the narrowed road? POW! I hit a cone. I corrected myself but not in time. POW again.

I'm not joking when I tell you that the 'unbreakable' cones shattered! A million pieces, everywhere. I felt terrible. We offered to pay them since they were new and $50 each but they told me the comedic relief was worth it.

Of course, every time I saw anyone who went to the class, they would make fun of me. Haha alright -- jokes on me. I get it.

One year later, we had our annual banquet and a few people from that fire department were invited. So after the awards were given out, the chief went up and told the cone story. Then? He presented me with a cone! Embarrassing, completely. But it was everyone's highlight of the night. I think at least 30 people took pictures and/or danced with the damn cone!

Alright so that was wasn't really a blonde moment but a funny one. But reading it doesn't make it as funny as it really was/is. I guess it was a 'you had to be there'... sorry.

So those are just a few of my 'moments'. One day I'll post more... once I can remember them!

(is my bad memory part of my blonde-ness?)


Alana Christine said...

bahahahahaha. MADE MY DAY! Glad I'm not the only one who has blonde moments!

Holly said...

You crack me up! I've totally been there with my car in a big parking lot!

Crazy Shenanigans-JMO said...

Haha! I've totally done that in the parking lot before and panicked!

Miranda said...

oh gosh i have so many blonde moments! i actually have a post coming up about it too! haha

Melissa88Senick said...

We all have blonde moments. It just helps make our days a little more interesting. ;)

Nikki said...

I loose my car ALL.THE.TIME! I swear it is crazy!

Anonymous said...

You crack me up!! I have blonde moments all the time...and I'm brunette. Oops! ;)

Keep Shining,