As most of you know - or should know based on the name of my blog - I am blonde.
And I'm not just talking about my hair color. I am a blonde who has many, many blonde moments... 90% of the time to be exact.
I'm pretty sure you would stop reading my blog if I posted about every blonde moment (saying to yourself "wow, this girl is f'ed up!") but today I'm going to share a few of my more mellow moments with you.
Blonde moment #38732486589 of 41839758625...
Walking out of Walmart, calling my Dad to tell him something.
As he answers the phone, I realize my car is missing.
This was our conversation...
Dad: "Hi honey, what's up?"
Me: "Daddy, my car is missing."
Dad: "What do you mean 'it's missing'?"
Me: "I parked it right here. It's GONE!"
Dad: "Is there glass on the ground?"
Me: "No but it's not here!"
Dad: "Hit the panic button."
Me: "I have been. Nothing is happening. It's gone, Daddy! My car is gone!!!"
:: I walk around the parking lot hitting the panic button ::
:: car alarm starts to go off ::
Me: "I found it!"
Dad: "Where is it?"
Me: "Oh about 6 aisles away... apparently too far for my panic button to work."
Blonde moment #13546987652 of 41839758625...
You know those pans under the electric coils of the cooking stove? Well the ones in our apartment were nasty... I don't think they were cleaned since the day the stove was installed. I tried once but the grime was cooked on there so I went out and bought new ones.
Sidenote: Milk boils QUICKLY so this probably didn't help...
Nasty, isn't it?
To replace them you have to unplug and remove the coil. And that's what I did. But when I plugged it back in, it just didn't feel like it clicked into place. So what's a blonde to do? I turned the burner on to see if it would heat up. To check? I touched it. Who knew it got that hot that fast.
On to the second coil... yup, you guessed it. I touched that one too! I figured it was just a glitch that the other heated up that quickly. It wasn't though. I did learn my lesson that time.
Blonde moment #9546987652 of 41839758625...
So to drive an ambulance, you need to take a driving course. One day of class room, the other day driving. Myself and two members of my rescue squad went to a local fire department and took the class with them... It was mid-March... still cold out.
I had driven the ambulance before but never through obstacles like they want you to do so I was nervous. Everyone kept telling me I'd do fine though and the fire department's chief even told me that they have brand new collapsible cones so even if I hit them, they'd be completely fine.
Apparently, that isn't true when it's cold out. I parallel parked it fine. Did the serpentine fine. But once I got to the narrowed road? POW! I hit a cone. I corrected myself but not in time. POW again.
I'm not joking when I tell you that the 'unbreakable' cones shattered! A million pieces, everywhere. I felt terrible. We offered to pay them since they were new and $50 each but they told me the comedic relief was worth it.
Of course, every time I saw anyone who went to the class, they would make fun of me. Haha alright -- jokes on me. I get it.
One year later, we had our annual banquet and a few people from that fire department were invited. So after the awards were given out, the chief went up and told the cone story. Then? He presented me with a cone! Embarrassing, completely. But it was everyone's highlight of the night. I think at least 30 people took pictures and/or danced with the damn cone!
Alright so that was wasn't really a blonde moment but a funny one. But reading it doesn't make it as funny as it really was/is. I guess it was a 'you had to be there'... sorry.
So those are just a few of my 'moments'. One day I'll post more... once I can remember them!
(is my bad memory part of my blonde-ness?)